Inversion
by Atlantima
Summary: Edward struggles with his feelings for a certain Assassin. AU where Sequence 5/Memory 3 and Sequence 11/Memory 1 never happened. Genderqueer!Kidd and Confused!Edward.
1. Chapter 1

Captain Kenway had tried to tell himself this was not unusual. They were both Pirates, manning the same ship; it was only natural that they feel a certain Kinship. The lives of Pirates meant they had to stick close, for any man you didn't have Complete Trust in was hardly worth trusting at all.

But it had gradually become clear to the Captain that he felt more than mere Kinship and Trust toward this particular Crewman. It was more obvious every time he saw those marvelous Locks dripping with sea spray. Every time he was struck dumb by Kidd's Preternatural Skill with that Assassin Blade. Every time he spoke with the young Man, who seemed Wise beyond his years. Every time he glanced up from manning the Wheel and happened to see him clambering about in the Jackdaw's rigging.

Captain Kenway had also tried thinking on his Wife. He still pined for her, did he not? He still saw her in his Dreams, still planned to return to her as a Man of Quality, to raise a child or two. But Kidd had also started appearing to him at night. Some mornings, Edward awakened with that familiar Stiffness, and could not say for sure whether he had dreamt of Caroline or James to provoke it.

"Perhaps I have at last been driven mad by that damned Observatory," he muttered, and took another hearty swig from his mug. They had docked at a small island to restock the Jackdaw and wait out a Storm that lay ahead of them. He didn't care to recall the Name of the wretched place. The booze tasted essentially the same no matter the Hand that served it or the Coordinates it was bought.

"But that was years ago, Kenway!"

A less-experienced drinker than Edward would have sprayed his Rum across the bar upon hearing the Voice of his Obsession pipe up so unexpectedly. However, he'd had myriad instances of Surprisal in taverns, and had learned to keep his Lips tightly and thriftfully closed, for after such a Shock, one would usually want as much Drink in oneself as possible.

The captain swallowed and turned to his Crewman, rearranging his face into what he hoped was an angry Glare, and not some pathetic Parody of a lovestruck Lass lost in Thought.

"Seems I gave you quite the Start," Kidd observed. "Sincerest apologies, Captain. That was hardly my intention."

"Jaysus, Kidd, you're forgiven; no need for all the Formalities," Edward sighed. "One would think I'd have learnt to detect your stealthy approaches by now."

"I strive to constantly refine all my Skills, major among them being the Art of remaining Undetected. An Assassin never rests on his laurels."

"So you did intend to catch me unawares."

"Not as such. I was merely scouting among the citizenry when I spotted yourself having a Pint and wagered you may want some Company. What's this about the Observatory, then? You ent been in there **again**, 'ave you?"

"Not on your life. I've left that Place behind me now."

"What's troubling you, then? You're not the kind of man who drinks alone when he feels carefree."

The lad knew him all too well. Edward turned away, wishing he had his hood to conceal any errant Expression that might appear in the ensuing Conversation. He glanced around to confirm the barkeep's attention was focused elsewhere, then answered, finally deciding he could not bear to conceal the Truth any longer.

In point of fact, there was a Possibility, however small, that these Feelings might be returned in kind. There was a common Rumour, among those who told such tales, that Captain Kidd's bastard son was a Sodomite. Edward did assume it true, for he had never observed him courting a woman, and the lad seemed to give off a certain Aire of Molly-dom. Surely those Assassins knew of his Predilection; Everything was Permitted, after all.

"Understand, **James**, my present trouble is a matter of utmost Confidence." He had been avoiding use of the given name since the unsettling Emotions had sprouted some months ago, fearing it might betray his Desire to be closer with him. It seemed appropriate now, though.

Kidd nodded. He knew all about Secrets, of course.

Edward drew another gulp from his seemingly bottomless mug, hoping the Brew would embolden him, then began attempting to relay his Mindset. "Since we crossed paths at Nassau, I reckoned there was Something about you. Something that drew us together as fast friends. When you revealed you were one of those Assassins, I'd figured that was it, that I'd just... knew it, with that bloody Sense I've got. Figured I'd get your lot to help me find that Observatory," he spat the word bitterly, "and then run off without further thought."

"That was your Intent, aye."

"Aye, but we both know how that Plan played out in the end. I didn't abandon you. Quite the opposite, in fact." Since joining the crew of the Jackdaw alongside Anne, Kidd had proved to be an able Navigator as well as a skilled Fighter when the need arose.

James made no Reply to this. The air was Silent, save for the ambient Cacophony of riotous drunks.

"Lately, I am pestered by unrelenting Thoughts... Oh for Chrissake!" Edward suddenly cried out. "There's no good way to say it, James! I've fallen for you, somehow."

"Oh, is that it." It wasn't really a question.

The Captain's arms were folded on the bar and he hid his face within their protective Confines. "Why is it you, James, and not the lovely Anne? Is this some twisted Incarnation of what the Eastern Mystics call Karma? I never thought I could feel this way about a Man."

The Man in question chuckled. "Perhaps you can't, mate."

Edward looked up at him, not sure what he meant. Was he being rejected?

There was no taking back what had been spoken now, though. Nor did there seem any way to nimbly extricate himself from the Situation.

James seemed to have spotted his friend's Discomfort. He put a slender arm around Edward's shoulder, surprising the Captain as he pulled him close.

"You've entrusted me with the Truth of your Affections. I shan't turn round and declare your Inversion to the world," he assured. "No more than I'd reveal the Brotherhood's intimate details to the Crown." Was it a flight of Edward's Fancy, or had James put a certain Emphasis on 'intimate'?

"I've seen you're the type to hold fast to Secrets. You've earned the Privilege to know one of my own." James bent closer and put his mouth tantalizingly close to Edward's ear. The young Assassin's Breath stirred the dirty blonde hair at his next Words. "I ent exactly a man."


	2. Chapter 2: Not Possible

"I ent exactly a man."

At these Words, Edward jerked his head round to face the fellow, and queried, "How's that?"

He supposed certain Sodomites, soaked through with Levitical concerns as to the Morality of their Pleasures, might not consider themselves as True Men. He'd have thought James' Intellect to be above such daffy Rationalizations, though. Surely that Assassin's Creed was his only Doctrine.

"My Christian name," James said, a note of Irony in the words, "was given to me as Mary Read."

Realization dawned upon the Captain. The Crewman's slight Build, those soft and elegant Features. The graceful manner of Motion, which Edward had attributed as some peculiar Effect of Assassin Training.

"You are a Woman then..." he held his voice down as other taverngoers passed by, knowing the keen Ears he addressed would have no Difficulty hearing, "...who has put on manly Guise to take up your chosen Calling."

Anne Bonny was the sole member of the Fairer Sex out of all Pirates he had seen or heard Tales of, until this Moment. Edward knew she faced more than her fair Share of Troubles from Lechers and the like. He wondered briefly how many Others might have put forth a similar Ruse to avoid said Troubles.

"I was thought a Woman for some Years, aye. Even by my own Self... but I ent that either."

This response thoroughly befuddled Edward. For it was among the undeniable Truths of Nature: there existed Men and there existed Women; not a single Person could ever appear outside of those Categories, any more than a Fish could live breathing Air. It was simply Not Possible.

Not Possible. Well, hadn't his recent Adventures brought him to a weird Observatory with which it was Possible to experience the Vision from another Person's Eyes? And he knew full well of too many Men, even those considered Enlightened, who believed it was Not Possible for the Colored race to possess Intellect and Reason.

Even in light of these Facts, for someone to be neither Male nor Female still seemed truly Unimaginable. Kidd might as well have claimed to be neither Alive nor Dead.

James pondered the Machinations his friend's Mind must be enduring at that Moment, and was oddly amused. Still, it would be a tad Cruel to leave the Captain to his own devices trying to Assess this information.

"Think of it in analogy to Yourself, Kenway," the Assassin explicated. "Are you a Criminal, or an honest Businessman?"

Edward bristled. "I am no Criminal," he said firmly.

"Ah, but many 'ave seen fit to Label you such, for that is how they perceive you. And some days you almost agree with them."

James- Mary?- was as Insightful as ever. In truth, the Captain indeed felt Despicable at times, for he did take the Lives and Possessions of fellow Men quite freely. He drank more of his Rum, not seeing the Connection this had to the Matter at hand.

"Yet you still feel Insult by that Term, and rightly so. The Role of a petty Criminal is not for you. On t'other hand, were you content to live as a simple Businessman, you'd 'ave stayed with Caroline. The Edward Kenway I know aspires to a different Identity, somewhat of a Blend..."

"I am a Pirate, simple as that."

"What defines a Pirate, Kenway?" James had acquired his- her?- own Drink somehow, without the other noticing. "Blackbeard, Stede Bonnet, Bart Roberts, Benjamin Hornigold... all these styled themselves Pirates. A rather large Variance in Behavior and Disposition between them. No, 'Pirate' is a vague and useless Descriptor of a person's true Character."

Edward was becoming frustrated. "Jaysus, Kidd, talk some sense! What has this to do with your Manhood, or lack thereof?"

"As I said, your Role, your Persona is neither an outstanding Citizen nor a base Criminal. You act as a Scoundrel, or a Gentleman, or both, whichever suits you at the time. Consider myself similar." The young Assassin grinned, and his Captain again felt uncontrolled Attraction to the androgyne.

Even more befuddled than before, he called out to the barkeep. "Mate! I'm needing another Pint right about now!"


End file.
